Sickipedia Gems

Recession is when your neighbour loses his job.

Depression is when you lose your job.

Recovery is when Gordon Brown loses his.
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I’ve proudly got a St George’s flag flying at the bottom of my garden.

It’s a flag I borrowed off my neighbour, a former French soldier.

All I had to do was paint the cross on it.
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What's white and takes no shit?

A blocked toilet.
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Carrying on Sickipedia's tradition of posts which can offend a large proportion of the population, here is another:

Happy St George's Day
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"I'm always getting myspace and facebook mixed up - I keep telling people to come on MYFACE!"
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99% of politicians give the rest a bad name
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A Royal Marine is on a street corner in Basra, leaning against a wall and picking his fingernails with his bayonet. Suddenly, an Arab terrorist runs around the corner, straight onto the end of the bayonet. 15 times.
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The other day I was watching the football on Sky, and it said you can go 'Interactive' by pressing the red button on the remote.

I pressed mine and the telly went off.
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Spring is here and our native birds are feeding. Please go to the pet shop and buy a mesh bag of nuts for our feathered friends.

There is nothing finer on a spring morning than a pair of tits around your nut bag....

..but remember, its a bit early in the year for a swallow.
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and finally...

Today is St George's Day.

Apparently, its the second most important National Feast in Catalonia, Spain.

Nice to see someone is allowed to celebrate it, eh?